To a friend who isn’t a friend anymore
Today is Friendships Day and there is so much buzz around the same everywhere. I generally don’t believe in these Archies curated days. But they come as a reason to celebrate so why not. Talking about friends, I have few friends. I can literally count my friends on my fingers. But the few I have will take a bullet for me, that is something I am sure of. Guess “the more the merrier” doesn’t fit quite right here. The scarcity wasn’t always there, it was the result of certain choices that I had made in the course of life. So this friendships day instead of writing eulogies for my best friends I have chosen to reminisce a friend who left me for good. So here is a small letter to a friend who isn’t a friend anymore.
Dearest Ex-Friend,
It has been quite a while since we have talked or have had any sort of communication. I hope you are doing extremely well in your personal as well as professional life. Though every now and then I get a glimpse of you, all hails to powerful social media. So I kind of have fleeting ideas about your whereabouts. It is not something that I am proud of but at times I did stalk you.
A lot has happened since you have left. I didn’t know you were that significant until you left. In a world full of so many people I literally felt alone and lost. I could feel my world shattering, yes you were that important to me. You were now close friends with people who were once an acquaintance. You were now eating out with people who once used to irritate you. Your bff list now included people who were once unique enough to be kept in museum. It’s not that it didn’t affect me, it did. I was irritated, amazed, angry and whole lot of other things at the same time. Initially it was tough but with time it got better.
Like they say time is the biggest healer, it actually is.
You could advocate your change in behaviour with growing up and getting mature. Guess I could do the same. After you others followed the suit but their departure wasn’t as lucid as yours. And speaking truthfully it didn’t affect much as well. I didn’t share much with them anyways but you were pretty much my partner in every crime. I still couldn’t come to terms with the fact that I was being pushed out for making my life choices. I understand that at times you have to make difficult choices in your life and like me you also made a choice. And unlike before I understand it now.
With time everything has gotten better. I don’t stalk you anymore. What you do, where you go etc doesn’t affect me at all. But that doesn’t mean that I have forgotten you. You are very much in all my happy memories. I have hurt people too and guess what goes around comes around. So if you are reading this know that you are missed. Every now and then something pops up from the past which reminds me of you and all the good times that we have spent together. Here’s wishing you a great Friendships day and hope that someday we talk it all out over beers. To the wonderful past, beautiful present and unpredictable future, cheers !
Lots of Love
Ruby